Only Time Will Tell
by piper maru duchovny
Summary: Mac isn't the only one who lost Claire. PRE-Series -Claire's Funeral


**Only Time Will Tell**

**Summary: Mac isn't the only person who lost Claire. **

**A/N: Just a random thought I had. I was going to tie it into this story I am working on, but it will be forever til I get to that point, if I decide to take that route, so for the time being I am using this as a one shot. :D**

**Disclaimer: Shockingly enough, they aren't mine. **

It wasn't like they had expected Claire to die that day. There was no red letter in there mail box that said stay the hell away from Manhattan; no letter that said by days end Claire Taylor would no longer exist as anything more than a voice in their heads and a yellowed photograph in a box. No one had warned them that by the time their coffee break rolled around on Septemeber 11th, 2001, life as they know it would be forever marred.

Now they sit in the funeral home, it is too quiet, too stiff and Claire would've hated it. The team is huddled in one corner, trying to pretend that a disturbance hasn't occured in the force. Stella Bonasera floats; from checking on Claire's parents to listening to memories from old high school friends. Then, there is Mac and he stands alone by the casket. Occasionally a person comes by, they exchange condolences and hugs. Mac's face never shifts, his lips are in a straight line and his brow is furrowed.

Stella's heart breaks for him, for them all. Claire Taylor wasn't just Mac Taylor's wife. No, Claire was a friend and confidant. She was a Police Force Wife. She had the team over on multiple occasions for dinner and back when Stella and Mac were first partnered, the three shared many spaghetti nights. Claire and Stella were best friends; girls united by a common bond. Mac was was drew them together and their fast friendship kept them together.

It hits in waves. Stella realizes when she almost regurges on Danny Messer, Danny takes it like a gentleman and pulls her into a hug. It comes like a blow to the stomach. There is no more Saturday morning coffees, no more Sunday brunches followed by a shopping spree. Dinner at Mac's will no longer consist of Claire's homemade spaghetti sauce and night caps that melted into sacking out on the guest bed. Perhaps what hits Stella hardest of all, no more observing Mac and Claire.

Stella used to envy them. The way they'd make fun of each other and feed each other while they cooked. The way Mac's demeanor lightened the second they walked in the door for a Friday night dinner. Stella used to feel all giddy when she watched them. The way they seemed to dance around each other, always moving as one person instead of two. She sometimes felt like a child watching her parents and praying to God that she'd have that some day. She already misses it. She misses watching Claire hit Mac playfully with the towel and say _"McCanna Taylor, you straighten up. You have a lady present."_

Stella walked over to Mac and they stood. Shoulder to shoulder, never touching as the crowds poured in. People paid their condolences and still they stood. In between the viewng and the funeral, Mac steps out on the back porch of the funeral home and Stella follows him. She sat down on the top step and he stood on the sidewalk, turning to face her.

"I hate it." Mac whispered.

"I know."

"I lost my wife." Mac ran a ragged hand over his face, "I don't even have a body to bury. I have an urn filled with debris and that's as close as I'll ever get."

"And it's not fair." Stella reached out and took his hand, "It's not Mac. Everyone in that room knows that you are hurting more than any of them."

"Good." He mumbles and she can feel his pulse quicken.

"But they all lost someone too Mac." Stella reminds him, "You lost a wife. Jane and Edward lost a daughter. I lost a best friend. Ellen lost a cousin. The force lost a great police wife."

Mac breathed, in through the nose out from the mouth.

"They're hurting too Mac and if you let down your wall, just a little bit, they'll help you through this." Mac didn't say anything, but he didn't pull away either. Stella walks forward and hugs him. He doesn't hug her back, he just stands there stiff in her arms. For Stella, it's enough.

Claire Taylor's body was lost in the rubble of a earth shattering attack, but Stella hoped and prayed that Mac realized her soul wasn't. Only time would tell if Mac would ever move on past the morning of September eleventh; only time would tell if he could leave Ground Zero behind. Only time would tell; until then Stella Bonasera wasn't leaving his side.

**A/N: Thoughts? I wish I'd let one of my Yoda's read it, but it hit me at the oddest hour and I DID NOT want to wait to post it! Lemme know, k?**


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